


Carry me along

by datetheplants



Series: However we know [4]
Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: AU, Angst, Modern Newsies, Newsies - Freeform, Other, Reincarnation, Reincarnation AU, high school newsies, newsies au, not quite ralbert yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 10:48:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16427912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/datetheplants/pseuds/datetheplants
Summary: Sean wanted to leave. He wanted to go home and read again. He wanted to finish his homework and maybe sleep if he gets to. He still wanted to punch them. But a part of him wanted to stay. He wanted to have someone to talk to. He’s had enough of the debate team. He makes a lot of bad decisions. He commits many mistakes. Really, this shouldn’t be any different.





	Carry me along

Sean Conlon knew he was short. His peers poked fun at him for it. They would use his head as an armrest, they would put the books on the highest shelves and there was generally endless teasing, especially at amusement parks and carnivals. It was nothing he could handle. It’s easy to just flip them off or retaliate with something cleverer. They’d laugh about it and go back to their usual routine.

There was a stranger who stood beside him in the kitchen to get a drink and he took one look at Sean and said, “Who let the child come to the party?”

And Sean punched him.

To be fair, he was already having a bad day before he made the other guy’s nose bleed. He had been late to first period and missed the quiz he studied all night for. He was then late once more to the English club’s meeting, getting a warning note from their president. He cracked the screen of his phone while shouldering past other students in the hallway. It had fallen out of his hand. He missed his bus and had to walk home. His neighbors had been too loud for him to do any homework. His parents had been arguing more often than most now. When one of his classmates had called to tell him that one of the seniors was having a party, he thought why the hell not? He’s nearly seventeen now.

Of course, Sean Conlon seems like the type to never commit any mistake other than being caught late. He was too smart and strong-willed. He was the top of his class and barely stuttered in front of his peers. Teachers loved him. Truth to be told, Sean makes a lot of bad decisions. He just never lets it show.

He arrived at the party and there was a lot of people. Sean could spot a few freshmen who were stupid enough to come. He was also pretty sure that there were college students.

Ah yes, what a mistake it is to come.

Not the punching part, though.

The other boy stumbled back and eventually lost his footing. He fell on the ground with a thud and the students around them stopped at the scene happening. Sean scowled and straightened himself to his full height. It wasn’t much but his fists can make up for it,

He looked down at the body in front of him. The guy was tall, that was for sure. He was also lean and for a moment, Sean though that he may have punched him too hard. His blond curls stuck to his forehead and Sean couldn’t see much of his face, not when he’s covering it and cursing continuously that if they were in any other circumstance, Sean would have probably patted his back in admiration. He turned on his heel and headed outside the kitchen. He tried not to be conscious of the eyes trained on him.

“You idiot!” he heard someone say. “How in the hell did you get punched?”

That was his cue to leave the party. He strode out the front door and into the night. He makes a lot of bad decisions, really, and he thought that this might be one of the stupidest things he has done. There was already a good distance between him and the party when he heard pounding footsteps behind him.

“Hey, wait up!”

He turned sharply and someone skidded to a stop in front of him. It was the boy he punched and he was holding a small towel to his nose. His shirt had blood stains on it. Behind him were two others.

“You’re bleeding across the whole neighborhood, dumbass!” one of them exclaimed.

They didn’t look like they chased after Sean to get back at him. He was sure of it. The blond was smiling too cheerfully for someone who was punched. A red-headed boy was the first to reach them followed by a black-haired one who looked like he was ready to punch his blond friend too. He was the one who called him a dumbass. Sean thought there’s truth in it even though he hardly knew the three in front of him.

“You threw one hell of a punch, dude,” spoke the blond.

“Tonio,” said the red-headed. “You’re gonna’ get punched again.”

“When was he not, Al?” piped in the other.

Sean thought it best to leave. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned.

“No, wait!” called ‘Tonio’. “We just want to talk to you.”

“What do you want?” questioned Sean, pointedly.

The three glanced at each other until the black-haired one cleared his throat.

“I’m Jack,” he began and pointed to the other two. “And this is Anthony and Albert.”

“That’s it?” asked Sean.

Albert shuffled awkwardly. “Well, we just really wanted to meet you.”

Sean thought that sounded weird. They were all weird and he stepped back.

“Sorry,” said Jack, noticing the expression on his face. “We’re not stalkers or anything. We don’t do that. We’re actually members of the debate team in our school and we heard of the team in _your_ school. Your name came up a lot.”

Technically, Sean wasn’t a part of the debate team in their school. They tried to get him to be a member, though, but he thought it was pointless to even make it official if they were already catching up to him in hallways, starting a conversation that eventually leads to a heated discussion. Plus, he just wanted to piss them off.

“How did you know I would be at the party?” he asked, squaring his shoulders.

Anthony shrugged. “We didn’t, really. We saw you come in-“

“And then he decided to say something stupid,” cut in Albert.

He didn’t know about the first part but Sean agreed with the second. Still, it really doesn’t explain why they still bothered to go after him after he punched one of them.

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “I should get going. Bye.”

He started to walk away and they didn’t say anything. He must have been only ten feet away when Anthony suddenly spoke.

“Do you know us?”

Sean stopped. Did he know those people? No, of course not. Maybe he passed them on the streets before. Maybe he had been going to same grocery or mall as them. Maybe he has heard their names before from the debate team. After all, they liked to trashtalk neighboring schools. He could definitely imagine the team picking on those three strangers. But no, Sean doesn’t know them. He’s sure of it.

He glanced back at the trio. “No, I don’t.”

And then his brain processed the dejected looks on their faces. Were they disappointed that he didn’t recognize them like they did with him? They must have been expecting for some sort of connection because they’re all acquainted with their respective debate teams. Sean almost wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. He didn’t.

“Sorry,” he found himself saying instead.

He walked away and didn’t stop this time until he reached his home. The car was gone which meant that his father was too. When he got inside, his mother was asleep on the couch and he stood there, silent. He didn’t want to feel angry again. He was tired and would rather sleep all day if he could. If he didn’t feel so obligated to do so well in school so that he could get to a good college and get a well-paying job to help his family, Sean would have run off. He didn’t want to complain. He didn’t want to be ungrateful.

He grabbed the blanket from the armchair and laid it on his mother. He kissed her forehead lightly before he went to his room, locking himself in until morning came.

The next few weeks went by as they did. Sean didn’t miss any of his classes or meetings. He had been cornered by the few members of the debate team, striking up a topic that led to long discussions. He let them be. It was good for passing time. He did his homework and read worn books from old bookstores. His mother chided at him whenever he brought one to the dinner table. His father would have flung it across the room and so when he heard the familiar engine of the car outside, he tucked his book under his thigh and looked to his mother. She had stopped eating and was simply pushing her food around.

Ever since Sean had come home from that party, his father had not appeared until now.

The door opened and closed. His father entered the kitchen and dropped down on a seat. Sean continued eating as if nothing was wrong. He pressed down on his book.

“I got fired,” his father spoke.

Sean didn’t look up from his plate.

“I can pick up another shift at the hospital,” his mother offered.

He heard a scoff from his father. Sean bit down on his tongue.

“It’s better than nothing.”

“Anything is better than this. Anywhere is better than here.”

“Don’t start. You’ve been gone for weeks.”

“Because I’ve been fixing up those damn cars!”

Sean got up from his seat as they continued arguing. He washed his plate, trying to block out the voices. Sean Conlon makes a lot of bad decisions. He commits many mistakes. He doesn’t want to do anything wrong tonight.

“Is this where you’ve been spending all your money?”

He turned just as his father hurtled something towards his way. It hit the wall and fell on the pans. He glanced at the counter. It was his book.

“If you learned to save up, you would already be gone from this hole, Sean.”

He would be.

His mother ran her hands through her hair and stood up from the table. She took her plate to the sink and washed it. His father left the kitchen and they heard the bedroom door slam close.

“You could go, Sean,” his mother spoke, lightly.

He knew the weight of those words. He blinked and turned away, picking his book up.

“You could go,” she repeated, shaking this time.

Sean smiled bitterly. “Yeah? Where would I go?”

“Away from here. Anywhere far from me, from him.”

He glanced back at her. She was crying as she leaned against the sink. Sean had watched her cry so many times. He had memories of her playing his toys with him and he would look right up at her and see tears. He had memories of her staying up so late in the living room, just sitting on the couch and holding herself. He had memories of her smiling and they passed just as quickly as they had come.

“You’re my family,” he said.

_They never leave each other._

He read in his room and dozed off a couple of times. He read until the sun rose and he was looking through the pile in the corner of his room, deciding what to read next. He read until he heard the car leave again and his mother following. He read until finally, he let the tears fall.

He came to school with puffy eyes. No one noticed. No one looked closer. He preferred that. He went through all his classes and sat through the entirety of the meeting of the English club at the end of the day. When he left the room, a sophomore from the debate team was waiting for him.

“Sean,” she greeted. “There are people we would like you to meet.”

“I don’t really feel like doing debates today, Rita,” he said, ready to walk the other way.

She grabbed his arm and Sean wanted to pull away and run. He took in a deep breath as he was led to the usual place of the team. He was wrong, however. They passed by the classrooms and Rita dragged him outside. She let go when Sean stopped in his tracks.

“They’re from a school near here,” said Rita to him. “Mick wanted to show off and he’s convinced that they are a bunch of idiots.”

They descended the steps and got closer to the group. Four, including Mick the president, were surrounding two guys. Jack and Albert, if Sean’s memory serves him right.

“Hey, Sean!” spoke Mick. “This is Jack and Albert.”

Ah.

He had been close to convincing himself that the occurrence after the party was just a dream.

He was not going to do this in front of the debate team.

“Hey, guys,” he said casually to Jack and Albert. “Thanks for waiting up but we should probably get going, yeah?”

He didn’t let his surprise show when the two didn’t seem unfazed amidst of the confused expressions of his schoolmates.

“You took so long, dude,” said Albert. “I’m starving.”

The two bid their goodbyes to the group and Sean nodded at them. They talked loudly enough as they walked to keep up whatever front they had. Out of sight and hearing distance, Sean glanced at Jack and Albert. They looked back at him with kind smiles.

“What was that all about?” asked Albert.

“They were just pretending to be nice to you,” replied Sean, setting a distance between them.

Jack shrugged. “That Mick guy and our captain of the debate team have been insulting each other online for weeks now. We knew the stakes of coming here.”

They stopped by a post and Sean squared his shoulders.

“Where’s your other friend?” he asked.

“Detention,” answered Albert, rolling his eyes. “It’s nothing new.”

“He calls it his club now,” added Jack.

Sean sighed. “And why are you here? You know, this is getting weird now.”

“We’re aware of how this looks,” said Jack. “But we’re not stalkers, we promise. We just wanted to be friends.”

“You don’t become friends with the person who punched _your_ friend.”

There was a laugh from Albert. “It’s bold of you to assume that we haven’t punched Tonio before.”

“Look,” cut in Jack. “We got off on the wrong foot. Tony just can’t shut his mouth sometimes. We heard about you from our debate team, thought you were cool and just happened to see you at the party. Chasing you was also Tony’s idea.”

Sean wanted to punch both of them.

“And you’re here because?” he asked.

“I really was starving,” shrugged Albert. “We heard about a good burger joint here and came across your school.”

Sean wanted to leave. He wanted to go home and read again. He wanted to finish his homework and maybe sleep if he gets to. He still wanted to punch them. But a part of him wanted to stay. He wanted to have someone to talk to. He’s had enough of the debate team.

He makes a lot of bad decisions. He commits many mistakes. Really, this shouldn’t be any different.

“I know the place.”

He came home later that night, already full from the food he had eaten with Jack and Albert. At one point, their friend Anthony called and whined about how he was left behind. They parted ways outside the burger joint, numbers already exchanged and stomachs heavy.

No one was at home and Sean flopped down on the couch, pulling a blanket on him as he turned on the news. He laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about how his day turned out. It was… fun. There was certainly a big difference from ‘hanging out’ with the debate team. It felt like having friends.

There, he said it.

He sighed and rubbed his face.

“A building in Brooklyn had collapsed due to…”

_“Spot! I’s going to the port to have a swim.”_

_“In case you haven’t figured it out yet, we got you surrounded.”_

_“Hit the streets!”_

He blinked. He had been dreaming. He was, wasn’t he? He reached for the remote and turned off the television.

_“Spot Conlon, a message from Jack Kelly!”_

He needed sleep.

Sean stayed awake all night, though. Both of his parents had come home and it was no surprise that they were arguing again. He couldn’t even pick up a book to distract himself.

_“You's an honorary Brooklyn newsie, Higgins.”_

_“Aw, gee!”_

_“Don’t you get attached too much, Spot Conlon. He’ll never leave.”_

He’s had dreams of them before. They were just blurry faces with faraway voices. His mother always told him it was nothing. His father could care less. He learned how to shut those dreams out until they disappeared entirely. Sometimes, they were there. Other nights, they were just like smudged paintings. He saw himself sometimes. Still short but everyone looked up to him.

It was a fairytale.

_“We's asking you to stand with us.”_

_“You's asking me if I could put my brothers in trouble.”_

_“This is for all of us.”_

_“I’s not gonna let them rot in the refuge.”_

A boy, carrying the weight of the world, who has nothing to his name. A boy, looking out for everyone, who thought he had no future. It was a nice story.

Weeks passed and he tossed and turned. He slept late and he woke up early. He came to his classes, topped all of them and attended every meeting. He avoided the debate team now whenever he could because there are now three people waiting for him outside. He hated it. It was different. It was a big change from his usual routine. It was a big step away from his worn out books with their torn pages. It was unlike him. It was comfortable.

They talked and talked. Jack showed him his drawings, Albert introduced him to new music, and Anthony told him stories. Jack looked to him every time people uttered something stupid and it’s something they’ve come to agree on. Albert patted his back every time they would part ways. Anthony smiled at him every time they would meet up. It seemed too much. It felt too much but for once in his life, he felt okay with it.

It wasn’t until he jerked awake when a door slammed open. He almost fell out of bed and he sat up so quickly he felt the room spin. His father had come in, carrying a duffel bag.

“W-What are you doing?” asked Sean.

His father strode over to his books. The pile fell but that didn’t stop him from picking them up and shoving them inside the bag. Sean jumped out of bed.

“What are you doing?” he demanded, panic in his voice.

“I’m selling everything I could, kid,” his father answered simply.

It felt like someone had poured cold water down his back. Sean moved forward and tried to snatch his books. He tried to grab at the bag. He fought with his father. He stepped on his books, their covers were ripped apart, the pages were torn and Sean could feel the tears leaving his eyes. It wasn’t the time. It wasn’t the damn time to start crying, not in front of his father. Not when he felt like a child more than ever.

He fell, surrounded by what’s left of all his savings. His father left the room and walked out of the house. He heard the car leave until he realized that all he could hear were his ragged breathing and his sobs. He hugged his knees and buried his face in his arms.

It wasn’t fair. He didn’t deserve this. His mother didn’t deserve this.

He felt pathetic.

He cried until his chest and stomach hurt. He leaned against the wall and tried not to look at the mess on the floor. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to. It’s just one of his many mistakes.

_It’s not fair._

He wiped at his eyes but found that they only got wetter. He tried to control his breathing. That was what Sean Conlon did. He was strong-willed. He was smart. He doesn’t need to cry over his books. He doesn’t need to feel ungrateful for his life. He had a family. He had a home. For God’s sake, it should be more than enough.

_It’s not fair._

He fished his phone out of his pocket, shakily. He went through his contacts. There wasn’t much. He stared at the names. _Albert Dasilva. Anthony Higgins. Aunt Cam. Dad. Jack Kelly. Mom. Dad. Jerry Pickle. Uncle Barry._

No, he didn’t need to call someone. He could handle it. He always did.

He was just a boy, carrying the weight of the world, who has nothing to his name. A boy, wanting to look out for everyone, but always lost to whatever game the world had planned.

Sean Conlon doesn’t seem like the type to take a wrong step. Really, if only they could see, he has made a lot of bad decisions. He has committed many mistakes.

But he’s tired of it.

“Hey, Jack,” he choked out. “It’s Sean.”

 


End file.
